try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize