I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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