Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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