No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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