Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Randomize
