I wanna bring you to show and tell
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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