Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
