Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
There's always time for handjobs
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
