In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize
