I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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