drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
