If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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