Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
