..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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