her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
