What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
