She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I just pynch a tree in the face
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
