im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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