You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize