Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
