so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
