don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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