i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
