Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
40s are totally the cure
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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