Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
my sisters under your porch take her home
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
True strength comes from lack of pants
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
