dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
