READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
