we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Randomize
