I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
