The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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