My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I accidentally had phone sex last night
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
