Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
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