It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
