last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
