He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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