Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
