I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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