everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Randomize
