ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
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