He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
