At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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