I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize