so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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