After last night, I could never be a politician.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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