i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
