Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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