Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
