Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
