Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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