I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
