if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Randomize
