he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
