I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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