i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
