My cat gives me a boner
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize