I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
sex in a hospital.. check
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
