The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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