Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
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