The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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